While checking out the A/V Club this morning, I saw this headline: "New study finds that people who like the Office are smug, people who watch Glee are overly sensitive". Do tell!
It pointed me to an article on the Ad Age website. Apparently some company did a study about what watching different shows says about your personality and, of course, how this relates to what crap you want to buy. I might be able to get on board a little bit with the stereotypes attached to the shows, but the product suggestions are pretty much universally incorrect as far as I'm concerned. Well, I take that back, I'd totally eat a Totino's pizza right now. Yes, I know it's 10 o'clock in the morning. I love pizza. Even shitty pizza.
They only discuss a fraction of the shows studied (there are paragraphs for 7 of 70), but I watch 5 of the 7. So, the question clearly on everyone's mind and obviously answered correctly by this study: who am I?
Well, I watch Mad Men, so I'm probably creative and liberal. This means I'm supposed to want to drive around in an Audi while using an American Express card to buy the latest release of the iPhone. And for some reason I'm supposed to hate Microsoft, GMC, Campbell's, and Escalades. Well, I do dislike Escalades.
I also watch Family Guy, so I'm a rebel and/or a risk-taker. And, don't confuse risk-takers with rebels--"risk takers have more bravado". But, they both enjoy pizza (OMG, I LOVE PIZZA! THIS STUDY IS AMAZING!). Rebels like sticking it to delivery pizza by getting DiGiornio and risk-takers like to risk having really shitty pizza by going the Totino's route. They both hate Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt and Volvos. Who doesn't? I'm totally okay with Volvos.
Watching Glee makes me creative and emotional. I'm not sure how that is supposed to relate to wanting Evian or a Jetta (Those seem very unimaginative to me. Plus I'm very emotional about bottled water being the devil.) or why it would turn me off of (to?) Quaker cereals (King Vitaman is WAY creative and...experiential...!), but, admittedly, Chevy Silverados totally suck.
People who watch the Office are experientialists and people who think they're better than everybody else (I don't think I'm better than everybody else, I know. And so do you.). They still like to drink coffee from Starbucks like everyone else, but they like to do it in BMWs and then have some V8 (Huh?!? V8 was really one of the products involved in this study? What other shows were likely to lead to V8 purchases? Oh, right, everything on CBS). Never, never offer them Dorito's or McDonald's. That shit is for regular people. Leave the Office watchers alone and drive your plain, regular, not-better-than-anyone ass home in your Dodge Caravan.
And, lastly, watching the Real Housewives of OC makes me pugnacious and a leader. If the leaders of this country are watching the Real Housewives of OC then I will no longer have to wonder what is wrong with this society. From the products suggested for this group, I think that by "pugnacious" they meant "incredibly vain" or "desperate to seem hip and attractive"--Botox, Apple, Nike, and Crest White Strips. If you watch the Office, you can pick them up in that BMW you wanted, but don't think about dropping by with some Maxwell House in your Hyundai, Buick, or Honda, cause these bitches will cut you.
By this point, you're probably wondering what the hell I wouldn't watch. And the answer to that is "not much". But, in this case, the other two shows included were Dancing with the Stars and the Biggest Loser. Apparently those are for "traditional" people and the less creative.
So, there you have it: I'm a Pugnacious Creative Liberal Rebel Experientialist Who Takes Risks and Thinks I'm Superior.
I want to read the study about Adult Swim shows--I think that watching the Venture Brothers means you're awesome and watching Xavier: Renegade Angel means you are seriously fucked up. And if you watch King of the Hill...wait, no one actually does that, right? Wait, actually any of that just means you're high. Or me thinking Adult Swim is a good thing to have on when I go to sleep. Or an insomniac. Or some combination of those three things.