Reality-TV-cap: Real and Chance: the Legend Hunters, Episode 7

This week, Real and Chance are looking for a "serial-killing cougar" in the mountains of California. Don't worry, it's not Courteney Cox. It's one of these guys:

This week's guide gives the boys some instructions in case a cougar comes after them: protect your vitals. Now, while I think this means making sure it doesn't rip my intestines out, the boys think he's referring to...well, you know.

Real is cool with a cougar taking an arm or leg, but you leave his junk alone. After meeting the "smaller, friendlier" cougar (seen above), they head off to meet a local who's spotted the serial-killing cougar on his property. They refer to him as a mountain man, buuuut he's not quite what they were expecting:

They didn't play the Brokeback Mountain theme like they did last week; I think that's because this guy might have really meant it that way.

Real has some trouble on the drive out, ruining whatever faith in them this guy had had: "I dont know how they're gonna catch a cougar, they can't even get outta the driveway!" They also can't read a map or generally be reasonable in any way. But, don't worry, sir mountain man, the Stallionaires still get shit done. After they hit the bar.

And, they definitely weren't expecting this:

This little guy prompts an EPIC freakout, but somehow or other they get through the night and wake up to greet a fabulous 114 degree morning. It's so hot that Chance is "sweaty like a 400-pound stripper on a good day". I don't know what that means, but it sounds...just fabulous. Assuming it means his clothes are full of money, that is. After a rough expedition, a refreshing rain falls.

And they break for the day.

There was no ludicrous, time-wasting, locals-irritating, budget-using shopping trip this week. Instead they...actually catch a cougar!

Not only that, but the guys they worked with actually seemed to think they were helpful in this process despite them frequently freaking out about bees and sounds and just generally being noisy. This may even have been THE cougar they were looking for. So, congratulations, guys, on (possibly) real success.